[ Don't think he doesn't notice you ignoring him, Marius. You're hardly sneaky about it after all. ]
Did he? [ In a way, Courfeyrac supposes it is not entirely untrue; but he very much doubts that Marius has interpreted Enjolras' words so. Then again, so too might he be able to use this to coax Marius into his safe-keeping. ]
It is not so dire as Enjolras may have made it sound, I fear. Even so your company in this dreary place would be a salvation of its own kind.
[ He does his own ignoring of questions here- for what hasn't happened? That would be easier to answer, perhaps. ]
[ He's beginning to feel suspicious now. This is another step in their aim to keep him away from ADAM, he knows it is. He passes a hand across his face, feeling the roughness of his cracking skin.
But what can he do? They are his friends, and he loves them still. ]
Where is it that you are staying? I will come to you.
[ A pause. ]
He did not need to lie to me. It was never my intention to avoid any of you. I only wanted to continue my search.
Enjolras does not lie; you know this as well as I do. [ He finds it a deeply concerning thing that Marius would make such a suggestion, and it makes him wary. ]
Searching for what? [ He knows, yet he asks it all the same in hopes that he is wrong. ] Surely you would be more fortuitous if you were aided by your friends?
[ He prays now. Prays that he has not asked the other too much. Prays that Marius will continue to be receptive; will agree to being found. ]
In chasing your trail I have been brought far from my lodgings. Perhaps we may meet now, in some middle ground?
A middle ground? You speak as though we are at odds.
[ His suspicions are deepening. He feels wrong, somehow; paranoid, fearing that the very people he should trust the most are the ones who will keep him from what he needs.
But he knows this should not be the case. He should not feel the need to separate himself from them. In truth he hates what ADAM has done to him.
He hates it almost as much as he yearns for it.
Almost. ]
I will come to you. I told you so already, there is nothing that you need worry about. I was worried for you, my friend, because I believed you to be in some terrible danger and now I see that is not the case.
As to what I search for, I think you know. And I think in knowing, you will know why my friends do not aid me.
Of course not, Marius. Such a word is a wound, I am stung upon it's point. You know me, Marius. You know me and my concern for you is from a genuine place. I wish only to help you- [ He pauses, fears that he has said too much, said the wrong thing, before exhaling and pressing on. ]
I am ailing, as you are. If because you are. I ask not to meet for odds but to ease travel on us both. This city beneath the sea is dangerous. [ And Marius is already so deep beneath it's sway that Courfeyrac's stomach twists; it is as though he can feel the bullets that shredded him apart all over again. ] If we must balance upon a point, let us do so together.
[ He's suspicious, and not entirely taking this well. Marius is in two minds - one side of him remains loyal still, remains in fear of what he's becoming and in fear that he won't be able to stop it. The other side simply wants more ADAM. That base desire has overtaken him, making him distrust his friends and search for the very thing that caused his problems in the first place. ]
I fear I have already fallen. Courfeyrac, I know what it is doing to me. I can see the evidence on my skin and hear it in my voice, but I cannot stop it because there is only one thing that makes it stop.
The same thing that Enjolras, that Alayne, that you would keep from me.
Tell me I am wrong, and I shall argue with you no more.
To fall simply means you must pick yourself back up. And you have friends, Marius. To take your hands and aid you. To steady you as you find your footing once more.
I ask again, and I know it is a boon- let me help you, Marius. There are many seeking even now to find a cure to your ailment. We will find it, my friend. [ He keeps his voice gentle, afraid and cautious of speaking the wrong words, of having the other hang up and leave Courfeyrac to his frantic searching. He doesn't know what he'll do if he does manage to convince the other to meet with him- the thought of trying to take Marius somewhere safe by force is not an appealing one, and even then... where can they go? Where could he hope to hold Marius to see out the worst of this storm? Could he even do such a thing, and would Marius forgive him, if he did?
He doesn't know, not yet. He doesn't know and so the most he can do, for now, is provide strength and support and hope that the answers come to him. ]
We will. I know. They will make it, I have faith that they will, they will make it and then all of this can cease.
All of this can cease. [ Those words trail away, as if he's talking to himself. His fingers flex as he tries to deal with the itch in them, and hisses in pain as fresh crack splits his skin in a line from his wrist to the tip of his index finger. Blood weeps from the wound and he draws breath, swallows, and tries to make himself focus.
Courfeyrac. Think about Courfeyrac, he is trying to help, he is trying to talk- ]
No! No, I cannot, I cannot stop taking ADAM. It's the lack of it that makes me feel this way, and until there is a cure, until the time when that happens, I have no choice, no choice. Please, my friend, can't you understand? Can't you make them understand?
Be easy, Marius. [ The hiss of pain frightens him, and he tries to sooth his friend as best he can with his words. Marius seems a skittish animal in these moments, and Courfeyrac does not wish to lose him again now that they have contact. ]
I understand that you are in pain. All that I ask is you let me help you, Marius. [ He doesn't want to allow the other the drug- doesn't want to give it to him. But Marius is right, in some ways. Without it the torture is worse, and until their is a cure his suffering will only go on, and on...
[ There’s a clear pause on his end of the line. Marius is unsure of this, and he’s beginning to feel trapped by the strange calm of everyone around him. They are trying to placate him, he knows they are, they will stop him from taking the ADAM- ]
I will find it for myself. [ Finally, with certainty. ] Yes. I will find it for myself and I will take it and then I will come to you and there need be no trouble between us. Fear not for me. I will find you after.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deadcentre) wrote2013-05-27 02:22 pm
Voice; week 22, backdated to day 2
MESSAGE: [ This message seems somehow urgent. ]
Courfeyrac? My friend, it is Marius. Is everything well? Where are you?
voice;
And you, my friend? I have heard a great many disturbing things since we arrived in this place.
voice;
I took the train, yes - it is true. Enjolras said that you needed my aid. What has happened?
voice;
Did he? [ In a way, Courfeyrac supposes it is not entirely untrue; but he very much doubts that Marius has interpreted Enjolras' words so. Then again, so too might he be able to use this to coax Marius into his safe-keeping. ]
It is not so dire as Enjolras may have made it sound, I fear. Even so your company in this dreary place would be a salvation of its own kind.
[ He does his own ignoring of questions here- for what hasn't happened? That would be easier to answer, perhaps. ]
voice;
But what can he do? They are his friends, and he loves them still. ]
Where is it that you are staying? I will come to you.
[ A pause. ]
He did not need to lie to me. It was never my intention to avoid any of you. I only wanted to continue my search.
voice;
Searching for what? [ He knows, yet he asks it all the same in hopes that he is wrong. ] Surely you would be more fortuitous if you were aided by your friends?
[ He prays now. Prays that he has not asked the other too much. Prays that Marius will continue to be receptive; will agree to being found. ]
In chasing your trail I have been brought far from my lodgings. Perhaps we may meet now, in some middle ground?
voice;
[ His suspicions are deepening. He feels wrong, somehow; paranoid, fearing that the very people he should trust the most are the ones who will keep him from what he needs.
But he knows this should not be the case. He should not feel the need to separate himself from them. In truth he hates what ADAM has done to him.
He hates it almost as much as he yearns for it.
Almost. ]
I will come to you. I told you so already, there is nothing that you need worry about. I was worried for you, my friend, because I believed you to be in some terrible danger and now I see that is not the case.
As to what I search for, I think you know. And I think in knowing, you will know why my friends do not aid me.
voice;
I am ailing, as you are. If because you are. I ask not to meet for odds but to ease travel on us both. This city beneath the sea is dangerous. [ And Marius is already so deep beneath it's sway that Courfeyrac's stomach twists; it is as though he can feel the bullets that shredded him apart all over again. ] If we must balance upon a point, let us do so together.
voice;
I fear I have already fallen. Courfeyrac, I know what it is doing to me. I can see the evidence on my skin and hear it in my voice, but I cannot stop it because there is only one thing that makes it stop.
The same thing that Enjolras, that Alayne, that you would keep from me.
Tell me I am wrong, and I shall argue with you no more.
voice;
I ask again, and I know it is a boon- let me help you, Marius. There are many seeking even now to find a cure to your ailment. We will find it, my friend. [ He keeps his voice gentle, afraid and cautious of speaking the wrong words, of having the other hang up and leave Courfeyrac to his frantic searching. He doesn't know what he'll do if he does manage to convince the other to meet with him- the thought of trying to take Marius somewhere safe by force is not an appealing one, and even then... where can they go? Where could he hope to hold Marius to see out the worst of this storm? Could he even do such a thing, and would Marius forgive him, if he did?
He doesn't know, not yet. He doesn't know and so the most he can do, for now, is provide strength and support and hope that the answers come to him. ]
voice;
All of this can cease. [ Those words trail away, as if he's talking to himself. His fingers flex as he tries to deal with the itch in them, and hisses in pain as fresh crack splits his skin in a line from his wrist to the tip of his index finger. Blood weeps from the wound and he draws breath, swallows, and tries to make himself focus.
Courfeyrac. Think about Courfeyrac, he is trying to help, he is trying to talk- ]
No! No, I cannot, I cannot stop taking ADAM. It's the lack of it that makes me feel this way, and until there is a cure, until the time when that happens, I have no choice, no choice. Please, my friend, can't you understand? Can't you make them understand?
voice;
I understand that you are in pain. All that I ask is you let me help you, Marius. [ He doesn't want to allow the other the drug- doesn't want to give it to him. But Marius is right, in some ways. Without it the torture is worse, and until their is a cure his suffering will only go on, and on...
There is no easy answer. ]
voice;
I will find it for myself. [ Finally, with certainty. ] Yes. I will find it for myself and I will take it and then I will come to you and there need be no trouble between us. Fear not for me. I will find you after.
[ And he disconnects. ]
(it's my inbox I do what I want)